


my favorite hello (my hardest goodbye)

by Anonymous



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Contains spoilers for the game, Implied Relationships, M/M, Past Abuse, Streetkid V, implied polyamorous relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28127052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Dreams and aspirations don't belong to Heywood boys.They should have known that going in. They all pay the consequence for V's mistakes.
Relationships: V/Jackie Welles
Kudos: 29
Collections: Anonymous





	my favorite hello (my hardest goodbye)

A shuffle, a quiet mumble of something unintelligible, a loud sigh.

Typical sounds from Jackie, but noises that always keep V alert for the first thirty minutes of getting into bed every single night. Habit, of course. Sleeping is vulnerable, sleeping is a stupid idea when a place isn’t safe and he’s liable to be beaten half to death on sight at any given moment if he makes the wrong move.

Jackie isn’t like that. He knows that, of course he does.

It doesn’t stop him from freezing at every sound, limbs trembling as adrenaline floods his body in a half ditch attempt to keep him alive.

Then he gets used to it, breathes deep, finally lulls himself to sleep as he counts in his head to block out sound. Slowly, he fades away.

*

“Hey! Hey!! ¡Despiértate!”

V jolts, shoving his hands outward and grunting as they connect hard against flesh.

“V!” Jackie’s voice is hurt, for a moment. He grabs V’s wrists, holding his hands against Jackie’s chest for a moment. He can feel the heat of Jackie’s skin, the trembling of his hands. “Mano, when have I ever hurt you? Chill out. I’ve never hurt you, right? Yeah exactly. Just like that.” He lets go of V’s wrists, sitting down beside him. “Scared the shit out of me.”

“The fuck do you mean? I was sleeping.” V frowns, tucking his hands up under his armpits. An old defensive maneuver he just can’t seem to shake, no matter how many years pass by.

“Sure you were, everyone _else_ a block off probably heard you screaming.”

V grimaces, clenching his hands. “Shit… sorry Jackie.”

“Eh.” He shrugs, “You wanna talk about it? Sounded like some bad shit.”

V shakes his head. “Nah. Maybe I’ll just stay up, let you get some sleep.”

Jackie scoffs, “Sleep is important V, don’t make me sic my ma on you. Lay down. I’ll protect you. See? I’ll even lay right here.” He throws himself down on the bed, making V hop a little as the bed creaks loudly. “Shit, this thing is weak as hell. You’d break it just by fucking on it.”

V laughs, rolling his eyes. “Yeah. Not gonna happen.”

“Why? You don’t have any pretty men or ladies lookin’ at you? C’mon V, you’re oblivious.”

“You’ve uh, actually looked me in the face right, Jackie? You know why.”

Jackie rolls over, giving him a look. “Not with the ugly shit again, V. Misty has told you a thousand times she thinks you’re cute.”

“Misty is a nice person. She’s not gonna tell anyone that their face looks like the ass end of a donkey.”

Jackie glares at him. “Párale, no me estás escuchando.”

“I am listening, you’re just willfully ignorant.”

“I have eyes, V.” Jackie rolls his, “I’m telling you I agree with Misty and you are cute. Cállate. Any more insults and I’ll kick your ass.”

“‘Have I ever hurt you, V?’ he asks, and then immediately threatens to kick my ass.”

Jackie laughs at that, despite himself. “Right, because you know that I won’t. I’ll just make you buy me food.”

“As if you don’t do that already.”

“Look just stop calling yourself that. You’re not. That’s shit that your family put into your head, you gotta let it go.”

“Shit, you’re gonna start psychoanalyzing me now? Sorry Dr. Jackie, I didn’t realize you were a fuckin’ psychologist.”

Jackie sighs loudly. “Tú quieres decir mucho para mí. Yeah? Cien corazones serían demasiado pocos para contener todo mi amor por ti. That means something. Don’t insult yourself, I don’t like it.”

V is silent for a long moment. “Lo siento, thank you Jackie. That was a hell of a thing to drop out of nowhere.”

“Don’t get used to it.” Jackie pats beside him on the bed. “C’mon, it’s sleep time.”

V sighs, laying back down. Jackie puts an arm around V’s waist, settling his hand over the scars in his chest and patting him there. V closes his eyes, focuses on his breathing, and starts to count.

*

Blood drips down from Jackie’s nose, down his lips. V has known fear, true _terror_ that grips him and shakes him up. That was nothing compared to what he feels now. His throat feels tight, his hands shaking. T-Bug’s scream echoes in his brain.

_I’m going to lose everything tonight. Even my fucking mind._

“Jackie, please.” He says, for what feels like the trillionth time. “You’re gonna be okay. Right? You’re okay.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine. Ugh, I just need to sit down soon.”

“We’re almost out of here.” V whispers, gripping his wrist. Squeezing. “Then this will all be over. We’ll be big leagues. We can choose what we want. You, me and Misty. Yeah? We can finally be out of all of this shit.”

Jackie smiles wanly, “Fuck yeah, V. We just gotta get there first.”

“We will.” V says, trying to force determination into his voice. “I’ll get you home. I don’t care what it takes.”

“Misty was right when she warned us not to go.” Jackie says much quieter. “I should have listened. You were willing to stop, V. I should have listened to both of you.”

“No, no, no. Hey. No regret talking, okay?” V frowns. The fear is palpable. He can smell it on himself. No doubt the Arasaka sharks could too, given close distance. “We’ll be fine, we just gotta get the car and Dex’s job is done. That’s it. Mission complete.”

“Mhmm.” Jackie mumbles, “Almost there. I know, V.”

_Please don’t leave me, Jackie. I need you. Misty needs you._

Getting down the elevator, getting outside, getting into the car is something he doesn’t even remember. It passes by in a rush. Getting Jackie into the car is the only thing he cares about. The only thing he _needs_. He doesn’t even feel the pain of bullets grazing him, of the wounds he undoubtedly took in the firefights. He doesn’t _care_. None of it even matters, not even the relic.

“You still with me?” V asks, voice shaking.

“You’re scared.” Jackie says, like he’s surprised. “I’m still with you.” He glances over at V, “Hey, you remember how we met?”

“Yeah. I remember.” V frowns, “Si tuviera que vivir mi vida otra vez, te encontraría antes… just so you know.”

Jackie laughs, quietly. “You been working on it, huh?” He touches V’s cheek, patting his jaw fondly. “Junto a ti y Misty es mi lugar favorito. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.” He sighs, holding his hand tighter to him. It’s covered in blood. “You gotta get this relic to Dex, V. It all depends on you now.”

“Don’t say that. We’ll both take it to him, Jack. You’ll be fine. Get him to a _fucking_ ripperdoc Delamain or I swear to fucking god—”

“I cannot do that, sir. Our itinerary has been pre-arranged and paid for in advance. I am not at liberty to alter it.”

“I don’t give a fuck about our itinerary! I— I know someone we can take him to, Viktor will patch him up and—"

“I cannot.”

“I swear to fucking—”

“Hey,” Jackie nudges him, “You gotta finish this out, V. For me.”

V feels that vice grip of his throat being crushed under the weight of grief, gripping him like nothing ever has before. _What the fuck are the big leagues if Jackie’s not in them? What the fuck is the point of any of this if Jackie isn’t there to celebrate it?_

“Promise me?” Jackie asks, holding the relic out to him.

V whispers, “I will.” So quietly that he barely even hears it. “Jackie…”

Jackie slots the relic into him, dropping his hand to squeeze V’s hand. It’s barely a squeeze at all. “It’s okay.”

“Cien corazones serían demasiado pocos para contener todo mi amor por ti.” V says quietly, wanting him to hear it. Wanting him to _know_ that V heard, knew what it meant. Held on to it all of this time.”

Jackie smiles, eyes closed. “Y yo a ti, V. Heh… that rhymed.” He sighs, a soft fragile thing that seeps out of him until he relaxes entirely.

“Please no.” V whispers, gripping Jackie’s hand tightly. “Please don’t do this, Jackie. Please don’t go.”

Jackie doesn’t answer him. He drops his head onto Jackie’s shoulder, shifting to press his face into the side of Jackie’s neck.

He closes his eyes. Starts to count.

“Mr. Welles has passed. Where shall I take his remains?”

V lifts his head abruptly. “What?”

“The Excelsior package provides for the disposal of passenger remains, free of charge. I merely require a destination.”

V feels utterly detached from his body. The words pass right through him, only barely having any meaning. _Passed. Disposal. Remains. As if he’s just a fucking nuisance. As if he wasn’t Jackie fucking Welles. The last remaining bit of sanity left in this shithole._

“He’d want to be with his family.” V forces out, sickness settling into his gut. “He’d want to go home.”

“Of course. Understood. Mr. Deshawn awaits you in room number 204.”

V nods numbly. He turns to Jackie, gently closes his eyes. Touches his cheek. _The last time. I didn’t know this would be the last time. I’ll never feel safe again._

“I’ll see you in the major leagues, Jack.”

He leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to Jackie’s forehead.

*

“And the Jackster, he out in the car?” Dex isn’t even looking at him. He’s looking at the television.

It takes every bit of V’s willpower not to kick him, scream at him, make him _look_.

“Yeah, he’s in the car. Dead.”

“Condolences, friend.” Dex turns away from the TV, crosses his arms. “And the relic?”

_It’s always about this fucking relic._

V points to his own head. “Got it right here.”

“Hm, I was afraid of that.”

 _Oh._ V realizes, with certain clarity that only brushes with death can bring, that this isn’t going to go well. He should be disturbed that relief settles into him, relaxes his shoulders. He isn’t. _Go ahead, Dex. Do your worst._

He tunes in halfway through Dex’s rant, “—pulled me into? You offed the fucking Emperor! His Majesty! Anyone with so much as a pinky toe dipped in this mess is as good as dead!”

“We gotta leave Night City.”

“You don’t say.”

“Ring Evelyn. We close our deal, grab our cut and drop off the radar.”

“Aight, settle down. Gotta be tactical about this.”

V almost laughs. _You going to be any more obvious Dex? No wonder this shit failed when you can’t even hold a poker face._

“Parker, eddies. Then we leave the city limits behind. But first… your face. You got blood all over it. Bathroom is there… go get yourself cleaned up.”

 _You’re going to kill me in a bathroom?_ V turns away, walks toward the bathroom dutifully. _Fuck, at least Jackie got to die in a Delamain._

V looks into the mirror. _Ugly. Inside and out, through and through._ He punches the mirror, feeling the shards dig into his knuckles. His skin burns, aches with the stinging cuts. He turns on the water and washes the blood off his hands, then his face. _Doesn’t matter anyway. Dex doesn’t have anyone to give the body to. He has no home anymore._ Misty would take care of him, probably. They loved each other in a unique sort of way.

They both loved Jackie, anyway.

_Poor Misty._

He sighs, opens the door.

“Alright then,” Dex says.

V feels the skin of his cheek split open as everything vanishes into total darkness for a moment. Then a sharp kick to his face, rebreaking his already crooked nose. _Fuck._

“Can’t risk it, V.” Dex tells him, approaching him with a gun.

“The fuck, Dex?” _You couldn’t just do it, one and done? You couldn’t have just shot me in the first fucking place?_

Then again, Jackie suffered. Jackie suffered all the way until they got to this shithole hotel in the middle of nowhere. He held out so long, despite any pain he was feeling.

V supposes he deserves to feel worse.

“Seems I’ve chosen the quiet life after all.”

Ringing, the light flashes around the barrel, blinding lights as the cybernetics in his eyes lose all signal.

_Jackie..._

CRITICAL SYSTEM FAILURE. FATAL ERROR. LOAD ADDRESS.

STATUS: CRITICAL.


End file.
